I took the girl's to the cinema today, we saw Aladdin which was one of my favourite Disney films growing up.
I haven't seen it for a while, in fact I haven't seen it since Robin Williams died.
I feel so sad watching it now, it's like the magic has gone..
It's so true what people say that you really don't know what is going on with someone deep down because all we see is what they want us to see.. just because someone is smiling on the outside, it doesnt mean they're smiling on the inside.
I'm such an empathetic person (which isn't always a good thing!) I always feel like I have the weight of the World on my shoulders, if someone is sad then I'm sad too, I feel their pain, it's like I carry it around with me as if it was my own saddness.
When I was younger I felt like I didnt have a purpose, I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere and no one would even care if I wasn't there.
Even now, there are days when I feel desperately lonely but I look at my kids and know they need me and that keeps my head above water
I'm not saying all this because I need sympathy or want attention and please know that I have never been happier than I am right now.. I never thought growing up that I would ever get to this point. I never thought I would have a family of my very own.
To have children, to be a mum and be a wife is literally the only thing I have ever wanted and because I have these people in my life now, that depend on me and need me, a huge void that was missing has been filled.
There's so much more I could say on this topic but I don't feel strong enough or brave enough to talk about it yet. I am usually the person who sees the bright side of things, the one who tries to keep a postive attitude and keep everyone elses spirits up, it's probably just my way of burying my own saddness.
This is one of the reasons I run because it helps me to process all of the rubbish that clogs up my busy mind, I don't know why it works but it just does..
Anyway, I just wanted to share a little bit of my life with you, whenever I write a post I always wonder if there could be someone reading this who can relate to what I'm saying..
I guess the whole point of this post is just to remind people that kindess is the greatest gift you can give someone, so just be kind, always
Thanks for reading,